Ended up getting a new NAPA starter. The starter (with AAA discount) was $174 and the exhaust manifold gasket was $42. Got it installed about an hour ago and it started right up!! That was not a fun job. Had to be a 20" extension to get enough torque to break the 17mm bolt loose. It was also essential in screwing in the bolts (along with a "wobbly" adapter to allow me to get the right angle.

BTW - for those needing to do this, a 20" extensions (1/2" drive) and wobbly are essential to both get enough torque on the 17mm nut, as well as get the correct angle to get both bolts out (and especially get screwed back in).

 

Thanks and you're welcome. Hopefully that's it for a while on this car. It's getting up there in miles (253,000). Or, some might say just getting broken in

I highly recommend watching this video. It will say you a ton of time:


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PARTS LIST

Here's a parts list needed to replace the starter on a 2004 Honda Accord LX:

1/2" drive flex head ratchet. This comes in especially handy when removing the 14mm bolt on the starter.

A short (maybe 3") 1/2" drive extension to help get the 14mm bolt off. This allows the ratchet to be in an area where you have a little more room to get torque on it (although the 14mm bolt wasn't all that tight. But the 17mm was a b*tch!).

10mm socket for the "acorn nuts" that hold the black cover that partially covers the exhaust manifold.

Either a 12mm or 14mm socket for the upper bolts/nuts (I think they're all 12mm, but the lower one might be different than the top nuts/bolts)

14mm socket for the inside starter bolt (1/2" drive highly recommended)

17mm socket for the outside starter bolt (1/2" drive highly recommended)

20" extension (1/2" drive) - used with the universal joint to get the 17mm bolt lose. Mine was extremely tight

breaker bar or a 1/2" ratchet with an extra-long handle (for the 17mm starter bolt)

universal joint (a.k.a. "wobbly socket adapter") to get the correct angle on the starter bolts

needle nose pliers (to pinch the plastic connectors holding a couple of wires in place

12mm wrench to remove the nut on the starter (where the positive lead of the battery connects to the starter)

You'll also want to buy a new intake manifold gasket when replacing the starter. Mine was $28 at NAPA. The starter was $174 (but that was with a AAA discount they offered. Regular price is $192).

The video says the torque on the exhaust manifold nuts/bolts is 16 lb. ft., but I just made mine snug since I didn't have a torque wrench that went down that low. Same with the nut on the starter itself (for the positive lead). Make it snug, but don't over-tighten or you can damage the bolt or solenoid housing. There was even a piece of paper in my new starter box that said "over-tightening of the battery post nut will cause the starter solenoid cap to crack or break." It even gives a spec of 6 lb. feet, but it would be impossible to get a torque wrench in there. Mine had a nut at the base of the starter battery post (i.e. the threaded bolt attached to the starter), so that makes it a little less likely you'll damage the solenoid cap.

 

Thanks for the information. I am sure it will help someone else who has a similar issue.